Getting stuck in anxious energy and busyness, but getting nowhere. Does this sound familiar? I call it "running in place," and it's a sure sign that I’ve stopped giving myself love and compassion. When you notice yourself doing this, don’t think, “I have to stop this.” Instead, think, “Oh! I'm running-in-place! I must be denying myself love and compassion.” Then if you like, you can put your hand to your heart as you do in the Hands Over Heart Technique I mentioned in this earlier post. . . .

Feeling Helpless?

It takes a lot of energy and attention to drive yourself crazy. If you redirect that energy away from "feeling helpless" and bring it into alignment with your desire to benefit, you may come up with some creative solutions. I'll explain.

If we feel upset when things go wrong or something unpleasant and unexpected happens, we’re not exactly unique in this world. But if we develop the habit of holding on to these upset feelings, we may resort to drinking too much, using drugs, or overeating (using food like a drug) in a futile effort to try and feel better.

Many people procrastinate (and paralyze) themselves when they have to make an important decision or organize a project. They think, “I’m terrible at this! I can’t seem to decide what to do, or when to do it.”

Someone asked me, “How can I have a healthy relationship if I had no good role models?” The first thing to do is to cultivate a healthy relationship with yourself.

When someone says “self esteem” –– and this goes for “confidence” too, because people often talk about these things as if they’re things, as if they’re substances –– I point out that there’s no such thing as “self esteem.” It’s not a thing you’ve acquired. It’s just a label for an activity we’re doing. 

We human beings have an amazing capacity to form positive mental habits. Every day we have innumerable opportunities to change the channel. We can shift from a fearful state of self doubt to an empowered state of peace and happiness.

Do you start and end your day immediately thinking about your “To Do” list or your “To Avoid” list or a mix of both? If so, you may have gotten used to a constant level of stress or anxiety and a speedy thinking mind, jumping form one line of thought to another: “I absolutely have to finish that report today” .