Q: How can I have a healthy relationship if I had no good role models? The first thing to do is to cultivate a healthy relationship with yourself.
You can practice these 5 simple, yet powerfully healing actions that can dissolve your blind spot (the sense of unworthiness). In this way, you can develop the habit of being your own best friend.
Do you start and end your day immediately thinking about your “To Do” list or your “To Avoid” list or a mix of both? If so, you may have gotten used to a constant level of stress or anxiety and a speedy thinking mind, jumping form one line of thought to another: “I absolutely have to finish that report today” .
I was very moved recently when I watched a video clip from a talk by David Foster Wallace. In it, he presents valuable insights about directing our mindfulness and focus so that we can become the masters of our life experience.
Wouldn't it be nice if you knew an Easy Way to Escape from the painful struggle of second-guessing yourself? You can do it.
Distress, worry . . . irrelevant!? Most people are interested and puzzled by this proposition – some angered! How can I not be worried or distressed about being unemployed, sick, or because of a significant loss?
If we feel upset when things go wrong or something unpleasant and unexpected happens, we’re not exactly unique in this world. But if we develop the habit of holding on to these upset feelings, we may resort to drinking too much, using drugs, or overeating (using food like a drug) in a futile effort to try and feel better.
Anger comes from a creeping sense that we are small and in some way lacking. We’re usually unconscious of this sense of smallness, but it makes us cling to what I call “lower self qualities.” If we are to let go of these troublesome qualities, we need to be clear about what they are.
More than anyone else, my Buddhist teachers taught me how to relate to questions and questioning. They taught me the art of inquiry which led to what I now call Therapeutic Inquiry.
A couple came to see me once, and they were very grumpy with each other. They’d had a big fight the previous week, and it was so bad that the woman’s husband had actually packed his bags and was ready to go out the door.