Author Archives: Jack Elias

I once received an emergency call to help someone who was suicidal. I agreed to see him right away, and as soon as he arrived he began listing all of the things that were wrong with him (thought and feelings) and that made him want to kill himself. . . .

What would it look like to give love without expecting anything in return? Isn’t that only for saints, or monks . . . or worse, won’t it mean submitting and becoming a doormat? Not at all. Giving unconditional love arises from a sense of your own unconditional OK-ness. It may be necessary to do some work to reacquaint yourself with your basic goodness, of course. But once you have reconnected with your self-worth, you’re able to be generous with your partner and with yourself.

It is possible to make major shifts -- to easily make true and lasting positive change in any area of your life -- when you call on the courage to be kind. Did it surprise you to think that softening your heart, consciously becoming more patient and kind through consistent effort, takes courage? If it did surprise you, please consider that it is an act of courage when you resist the fearful habitual thought patterns that keep you stuck, or anxiously running-in-place inside yourself, unable to move forward. It is possible to make major shifts -- to easily make true and lasting positive change in any area of your life -- when you call on the courage to be kind.

I believe that the start of a new year is a great time to shake things up a little. So . . . here's a radical three-part notion: 1. When you soften your heart with patience and kindness (and therefore courage), positive thoughts are able to make a greater impact on your mind. 2. When you strengthen your positive thoughts, it automatically becomes much easier to change your perspective and make things work. 3. Therefore, the most powerful thing you can do to create a positive mind-state — the state from which flows all creativity, health and wellbeing, as well as worldly success — is to allow your heart to soften. How do you soften up? You're really going to enjoy this . . .

I want to share some additional perspectives about my previous post, What Do Thoughts Think About? “Thoughts think about other thoughts” is a subtle topic. Its importance can easily be missed, and working with it can seem boring and pointless in the beginning.

Want to make someone pause? Ask them, “What do thoughts think about?” Ask yourself. Try to think about something that is not a thought — if you can, let me know!

You can learn to enjoy yourself pursuing relationships if you know the secrets of successful dating — and if you practice them. Beyond making sure you offer a common-sense, clean physical presentation (you should know that most people like this), the essential secret is to be yourself.