Lately I’ve had a number of people come into my office talking about ego. It got me thinking. All problems arise from this sense of limited fearful separation — what we call ‘ego.’
I am going to tell you a powerful secret. I am about to give you a powerful all-purpose tool for taming your mind, your emotional states and your compulsions. I give it in various forms to all my clients. In fact, I had just given it to a client the day before I went to a local chain store for some sundries . . .
What can we do when we feel stuck? I am amazed at how easy it is for me to forget that my mind is creating my “stuckness” not the world.
Anxious thinking can become such a familiar part of our inner dialogue, that we can end up believing it’s natural. “What’s going to happen to me?”
My wife recently showed me a quote by Seth Godin: “Anxiety is nothing but repeatedly re-experiencing failure in advance. What a waste.” Well said, Seth. It can be very helpful to recognize more precisely how anxiety is accomplished.
"There is nothing that will not reveal its secrets if you love it enough." ~George Washington Carver When someone asks you, "How are you doing?" Do you (out of habit or intant reflex) say, "Fine"? That could be all right if it's the grocery cashier asking the question, but if it's a friend, you might want to go a bit deeper. New research shows a link between our personal happiness and the number of substantial conversations we engage in.
I admit it. I love eating chocolate. My wife teases me about it, but I don't care. According to the history books, if not science, chocolate's happiness factor comes comes not only from its being addictively delicious but also because it may be an aphrodisiac. Sounds fine to me. Of course, chocolate isn't going to be the source of the true, unchanging happiness that makes you oblivious to dips in the economy or a hair in your spaghetti. But it can sure give you a lift on the path to ultimate bliss. So I suggest a composite approach . . .
Take a look for a moment: What is your mind producing right now? Thoughts that bring you joy and happiness, thoughts that uplift your self-confidence? Or a familiar stream of negativity -- worries, fears? It's a great exercise to generate thoughts of gratitude for whatever you have, think of someone who needs your help, and then share some of your good fortune. Especially when you feel like kicking something (computer? car? phone?).
Have you ever gotten to around 5:00 PM feeling like you were having a pretty good day, then you turn on the news and everything seems terrible?
Most of the time, the reasons for our unhappiness are not outside us, even though it often seems that way. If this were true, though, how can we account for those people living in tiny Third World huts who still somehow find ways to feed and cheer up their neighbors? They must know the secret of how to . . .