Anger comes from a creeping sense that we are small and in some way lacking. We’re usually unconscious of this sense of smallness, but it makes us cling to what I call “lower self qualities.”
More than anyone else, my Buddhist teachers taught me how to relate to questions and questioning. They taught me the art of inquiry which led to what I now call Therapeutic Inquiry.
A couple came to see me once, and they were very grumpy with each other. They’d had a big fight the previous week, and it was so bad that the woman’s husband had actually packed his bags and was ready to go out the door.
My most important insights about applying mindfulness to work are grounded in an experience I had as head of the kitchen during a sesshin at Tassajara Zen Mountain Center in 1971.
Many people begin a mindfulness practice but quickly give up due to some basic misunderstandings. Here are ten misconceptions about mindfulness.
When I'm working to help a couple communicate better, it may surprise you to hear that I don't employ the latest tricks to get men to understand women better, or vice versa. Improving relationship communication is actually much simpler than that -- if the hypnotherapist's approach is transpersonal in nature.
What would it look like to give love without expecting anything in return? Isn’t that only for saints, or monks . . . or worse, won’t it mean submitting and becoming a doormat? Not at all. Giving unconditional love arises from a sense of your own unconditional OK-ness. It may be necessary to do some work to reacquaint yourself with your basic goodness, of course. But once you have reconnected with your self-worth, you’re able to be generous with your partner and with yourself.
It is possible to make major shifts -- to easily make true and lasting positive change in any area of your life -- when you call on the courage to be kind. Did it surprise you to think that softening your heart, consciously becoming more patient and kind through consistent effort, takes courage? If it did surprise you, please consider that it is an act of courage when you resist the fearful habitual thought patterns that keep you stuck, or anxiously running-in-place inside yourself, unable to move forward. It is possible to make major shifts -- to easily make true and lasting positive change in any area of your life -- when you call on the courage to be kind.
Happy New Year! Amazing to think that a brand new year has already begun. Already our hopes (and fears) are revving up! Is your inbox flooded with messages about keeping your New Year’s Resolutions?
I want to share some additional perspectives about my previous post, What Do Thoughts Think About? “Thoughts think about other thoughts” is a subtle topic. Its importance can easily be missed, and working with it can seem boring and pointless in the beginning.