Anger comes from a creeping sense that we are small and in some way lacking. We’re usually unconscious of this sense of smallness, but it makes us cling to what I call “lower self qualities.”
More than anyone else, my Buddhist teachers taught me how to relate to questions and questioning. They taught me the art of inquiry which led to what I now call Therapeutic Inquiry.
A couple came to see me once, and they were very grumpy with each other. They’d had a big fight the previous week, and it was so bad that the woman’s husband had actually packed his bags and was ready to go out the door.
At the end of this post you’ll have learned three science-backed ways to beat stress – methods that will bring a profound relaxation into your days, even if you’re a person who must make many daily decisions.
My most important insights about applying mindfulness to work are grounded in an experience I had as head of the kitchen during a sesshin at Tassajara Zen Mountain Center in 1971.
Not long ago someone was asking me about my work, and I mentioned my book, Finding True Magic. The subtitle is a long one (Transpersonal Hypnosis & Hypnotherapy/NLP) so I didn’t mention it.
The last thing we need is another self improvement plan. But happiness is assured if we are willing to learn, and practice, true self appreciation. Here are some ways to begin.
What would it look like to give love without expecting anything in return? Isn’t that only for saints, or monks . . . or worse, won’t it mean submitting and becoming a doormat? Not at all. Giving unconditional love arises from a sense of your own unconditional OK-ness. It may be necessary to do some work to reacquaint yourself with your basic goodness, of course. But once you have reconnected with your self-worth, you’re able to be generous with your partner and with yourself.
It is possible to make major shifts -- to easily make true and lasting positive change in any area of your life -- when you call on the courage to be kind. Did it surprise you to think that softening your heart, consciously becoming more patient and kind through consistent effort, takes courage? If it did surprise you, please consider that it is an act of courage when you resist the fearful habitual thought patterns that keep you stuck, or anxiously running-in-place inside yourself, unable to move forward. It is possible to make major shifts -- to easily make true and lasting positive change in any area of your life -- when you call on the courage to be kind.
I believe that the start of a new year is a great time to shake things up a little. So . . . here's a radical three-part notion: 1. When you soften your heart with patience and kindness (and therefore courage), positive thoughts are able to make a greater impact on your mind. 2. When you strengthen your positive thoughts, it automatically becomes much easier to change your perspective and make things work. 3. Therefore, the most powerful thing you can do to create a positive mind-state — the state from which flows all creativity, health and wellbeing, as well as worldly success — is to allow your heart to soften. How do you soften up? You're really going to enjoy this . . .