What would it look like to give love without expecting anything in return? Isn’t that only for saints, or monks . . . or worse, won’t it mean submitting and becoming a doormat? Not at all. Giving unconditional love arises from a sense of your own unconditional OK-ness. It may be necessary to do some work to reacquaint yourself with your basic goodness, of course. But once you have reconnected with your self-worth, you’re able to be generous with your partner and with yourself.

Getting stuck in anxious energy and busyness, but getting nowhere. Does this sound familiar? I call it "running in place," and it's a sure sign that I’ve stopped giving myself love and compassion. When you notice yourself doing this, don’t think, “I have to stop this.” Instead, think, “Oh! I'm running-in-place! I must be denying myself love and compassion.” Then if you like, you can put your hand to your heart as you do in the Hands Over Heart Technique I mentioned in this earlier post. . . .

I believe that the start of a new year is a great time to shake things up a little. So . . . here's a radical three-part notion: 1. When you soften your heart with patience and kindness (and therefore courage), positive thoughts are able to make a greater impact on your mind. 2. When you strengthen your positive thoughts, it automatically becomes much easier to change your perspective and make things work. 3. Therefore, the most powerful thing you can do to create a positive mind-state — the state from which flows all creativity, health and wellbeing, as well as worldly success — is to allow your heart to soften. How do you soften up? You're really going to enjoy this . . .