I believe that the start of a new year is a great time to shake things up a little. So . . . here's a radical three-part notion: 1. When you soften your heart with patience and kindness (and therefore courage), positive thoughts are able to make a greater impact on your mind. 2. When you strengthen your positive thoughts, it automatically becomes much easier to change your perspective and make things work. 3. Therefore, the most powerful thing you can do to create a positive mind-state — the state from which flows all creativity, health and wellbeing, as well as worldly success — is to allow your heart to soften. How do you soften up? You're really going to enjoy this . . .

I want to share some additional perspectives about my previous blog, “What DO Thoughts Think About?” “Thoughts think about other thoughts” is a subtle topic; it’s importance can easily be missed, and working with it can seem boring and pointless in the beginning.

Want to make someone pause? Ask them, “What do thoughts think about?” Ask yourself. Try to think about something that is not a thought — if you can, let me know!

A big part of the transformational process is challenging negative self talk (mean and nasty internal dialogue) again and again to look at and to cut through the roots and causes of self hatred. I have been struck lately by several clients' acceptance of negative self talk and judgments – what they describe as self-judgment and self-hatred. Along with this mind state comes the fear of criticism from others, as if it was a fact of nature that they are deserving of just about any negative judgment that comes their way. . . .

If you want to make yourself miserable, here’s the quickest way to do it: get worried about what other people think of you. Just by turning our attention outside, we can begin to imagine that others are judging us harshly.

Have you ever wondered what it takes to worry about what other people think? Do you wish you didn’t care what other people think? Or is this kind of worry so “familiar” that it seems natural .