I am going to tell you a powerful secret right now. It’s an all-purpose method for taming your mind, your emotional states, and your compulsions. I tell this secret in various forms to all my clients, and in a moment I’m going to give it to you. (Patience builds character.)
Even though I use this method every day with clients, and even though I practice it myself, I’m still surprised by the way it comes back to me.
An unexpected blessing
One day I went to a local grocery store to pick up some cleaning supplies and vodka. Well, actually I don’t remember now What I actually went into the store for, but that’s the kind of thing that happens at my age.
Anyway, I had paid for my purchase and was turning to leave when the clerk looked me in the eye and said something wonderful to me:
“All good things to you today.”
And she meant it! I actually had a little startle response — the positivity of it was so unexpected. It hadn’t been that long since I’d read the morning paper, so I was probably in a mildly cynical mood, predisposed at that moment to regard the world as a dark and depressing place. This grocery clerk with the nice smile and good wishes showed me that Love may be quite active in this world despite the headlines. Love can actually drown out the incessant chatter of TV — it can slide right under the radar of the chaos and cynicism, and make your heart leap with joy.
The practice of wishing others well
“I wish you perfect happiness.”
You can use this anytime. Simply repeat it to your mind, to your inner critic, to your anger (or jealousy or insecurity or fear), to parts of your body that ache . . . or to your partner . . . or to the birds in your backyard. I could have been directing it at the subjects of the sad newspaper headlines I had just read.
“I wish you perfect happiness.”
As you say it, have the intention that you are directing this blessing to your thoughts, sensations, and emotions. Have the intention that you’re directing it to your irritating urges — as well as to the source of whatever is creating them.
Focus and breathe. Offer the blessing.
“I wish you perfect happiness.”
Breathe. Relax as much as you can. Then re-focus and repeat the process several times. Notice what happens!
This is a highly effective practice. I have given it to the most unhappy and confused clients and it always makes a difference for them. See how it works for you.
You can practice saying this secret message when you’re with friends and enemies and strangers. Just say it silently to yourself. You could try saying it to each passing driver as you’re traveling down the road. You may find yourself smiling involuntarily.
We can all expand Love’s influence in the same simple way that the grocery clerk was doing. Her phrase “All good things to you today” is worded differently than the blessing as I practice it, but the message is the same. And the real key? She meant it — from the heart! Seeing her smile at me, feeling the love in her blessing, changed my mind and made my day.
I went out for coffee again this morning. Again I bought a newspaper and sat down to read the headlines. But this time I remembered the clerk and her blessing, so as I was reading, I blessed everyone I read about.
Let’s all do it! It doesn’t cost a thing and it’s a simple way to practice loving kindness.
I wish you perfect happiness . . . and I’m sure my new friend at the grocery store wishes you “all good things” today, too!